Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
