Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's rum buckets o'clock
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
