Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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