Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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