By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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