Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
