As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
