My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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