do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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