Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
