Kiss
Puke
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
