Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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