all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
