Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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