I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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