I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
