and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
