Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
