i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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