well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
