I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
