Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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