My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
