just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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