doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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