I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
