Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize