you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
