he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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