I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
