She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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