i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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