She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
