While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
