You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
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I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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