i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
