Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
