How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
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Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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