oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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