so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
