another moral hangover. fuck.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
