Four minutes until I can fart!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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