I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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