When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ok first of all what the fuck
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
