i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
