Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
