Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
