New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You need Xanax blowdarts
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
