I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
