wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Drunk is not a location!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
