Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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