Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
