Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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