So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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