you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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