It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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