apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
