Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
