Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
