They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize