i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Found the puke drawer
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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