just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize