Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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