you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
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